Friday, August 3, 2012

The Facade of a Super Mom

I've joked before about having super mom abilities.  In reality, I rarely feel as though I am a super mom.  Lately I've been wearing that facade and to be honest, it weighs more that I can carry at times.  These past few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster for me. First with all the things that my mother-in-law has gone through and then this past week with Daniel being in the hospital.  On top of that, a lot of things did not go well with Sarah's visit to Virginia and my heart was breaking for her.  The overwhelming degrees of emotions have swamped me lately and I find myself not leaning on God, but leaning on my own strength to barrel through the day.  I remember a time before I was married when I would get regular quiet time.  Sarah would be at with her grandparents or spending a night with her Dad and I would have time to sit back quietly and breath.  During that quiet time, God would speak to me and my energy would be restored.  When Sarah would lay down at night, I would have time alone to recharge and do a bible study before I went to sleep.  Now it seems as though I run through the morning and night, never getting time to sit back and listen.  On the rare occasions that I get some time alone, it feels more like recovery than a rest.  

I say this now because I got another reference to being a super mom and at times it feels like an uncomfortable title.  I'm a "have it together" kind of person.  But lately I feel like I'm working so hard at it and not getting far.  Let me tell you why.  I have not spent time in my bible regularly for weeks.  Yes, I admit it.  Not proudly, but with regret. I'm so tired and it's because my diet stinks!  On top of that, my normal multiple time a day, spontaneous and planned prayers with God have really slacked off.  Granted I constantly ask him for peace and control when I'm about to strangle someone. He's been faithful so far in answering those immediately!

Maybe you are wondering why I write this.  I do it because I see so many women running around like me. It's hard to be real when you are trying to keep it all together. And for me, I don't like pretending.  Right now I'm going to get back on the wagon and make God my priority. Once I restore my time with Him, the days will get easier. I'm just glad that I sat down and realized it now before life started throwing any other curve balls!

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