Every now and then I get in a funk that I can't explain. I call them my blue days. They last a day or two. Right now I'm in the midst of one. I think they get triggered by how busy my life gets and sometimes I feel a bit overwhelmed. I'm in that state right now. I crave quiet time to think and sort through my thoughts and sometimes I can't get enough to make it all out. On top of that, I still struggle with having quiet time with all the kiddos and hubby needing me. So if you are reading this, say a little prayer that this passes quickly. I get irked by these days and I'm ready to snap out of it!
Lately things have been a bit rough. I'm not going to go into the details. One thing to come out of all this is that I've purposed to pray in front of the kids more (not including the typical meal time, lesson time and bed time). If I lose something, I stop and ask God out loud to help. When I see something lovely outside, I praise God's creation and give thanks. When I'm impatient, I ask him for more patience to move forward. Not only is this helping me, but the kids have really picked up on it as well.
Not long after I started praying more in front of the kiddos, Ashton started having a sore throat at night. At first it was from allergies. I started praying for his throat at night. After his throat cleared up, he used it as an excuse to get out of bed. I decided not to make a big deal out of it and to keep praying for his throat. I had no idea that it would change much for him.
This morning, Ashton and Brenna were sitting on the couch. Brenna has been sick and had to miss church today. Ashton looked over at his sister and asked her if she was still sick. She told him she was. Not missing a beat, he looked at her and said, "I"m going to pray to God because your sick." He then prayed over her and asked God to heal her. I almost started crying but managed to hold it together. God favored me this morning and gave me a preview of a seed that is growing in my little guys heart. I went over and sat beside him. Pulling him into a hug, I told him only the best big brothers prayed for their sisters when they were sick and that God and I loved him doing that.
I don't hear God a lot in the rush of daily life. I'm not saying he's never gotten a hold of me in the middle of daily distractions, but I have a harder time hearing him. Last night I was worn out! Ian has been ill. Before that Ashton and I were ill. The house keeps going crazy despite my attempts to have it consistently under control. I was tired, hormonal and needed some air. Daniel sent me in for a nap but then everyone decided that the door was revolving and I was needed or the chaos outside of my bedroom demanded my attention. Some days rest just does not come.
Daniel made dinner and I laid in bed. I could not go to sleep. I came out to find dinner gone and the only thing left was frozen. It was time for me to get out of the house. I thought I was going to Bojangles to grab something fast. As I was driving, the AC and the radio were making too much noise. I turned them off and the quiet was amazing. I started talking to God. It was the moment.
For me, quiet time is essential to my walk with God. During my time with him, all the thoughts coursing through my head come together. Well, not all of them. The important ones I figure out. Some just go back into the pot for circulation! Last night I had so much on my mind. A lot of it I had not even realized was bothering me or that I needed direction on. I skipped Bojangles and just rode around talking with God and listening. By the time I made it home, I was at peace with all the craziness.
I highly encourage you to take some time God today. Talk to him like you are talking to your best friend and see where He leads you!
I don't even know what to write here. My MIL went through another round of chemo and it seems to have done more harm than good. We have not heard anything from the doctor, but she is in pain and our hearts are breaking. I hope to be able to go over with the kids today for a short time.
This morning Daniel and Sarah walked out to new beginnings. Daniel was offered the Drama position at a local high school at the end of last year. He had been teaching in special ed for the past 8 years. If you know anything about teaching, special ed, while rewarding, it's also quite stressful. Teachers these days have mounds of paper work and meetings that never seem to end. Daniel is extremely talented and also has a Drama certification. When the position became available, he jumped at it. I can't wait to see what he does with the program!
As for Sarah, we had to move her to be in the same district as Daniel. He takes her to school each morning and it would not be possible for him to drop her off and then get to work on time. Not to mention the pick up nightmare. So now she starts at a new school. This time though she has some teachers that we go to church with and students from the youth group to help her settle in. We're praying that she finds some life long friends here and the transition is an easy one for her. Sarah is one of the brightest kids I know and I'm so proud of her. As the year moves along, she will grow in unexpected ways and it's humbling to know that God gave her to us to see these transitions and walk beside her as she goes through them.
I don't believe in luck, but I do believe in God's blessings. I pray that both Daniel and Sarah are blessed by the coming year and all their new experiences!
I think it's time to post some pictures on this Fabulous Friday! These are from Memorial Day. I wish I had been a little more diligent about capturing everyone, but sometimes I forget to grab the camera and go!
The cake did not take the 2 1/2 hour drive very well.
We all love the mountain streams. Especially since it was HOT!
Cousin Emma makes some funny faces!
She cracks me up with her funny faces!
And her Dad is going to love me for this one.
Ahh! The water is cold!
Little blue butterflies entertained the kids for a good while.
They loved sitting on Ashton...
...and it made Brenna green with envy!
See that little butterfly on his shoulder!
Emma and Brenna
At Andrews Geyser with the gang. My dad graciously took this picture for us. We have one of him in the group on anther camera but have to figure out where that is!
Daniel and I. It was a hot day and I think the both of us were worn out when our amazing 11 year old snapped this picture.
Let me preface my remarks by saying I know that God has a plan. Not once have I forgotten that. I know that he is good. He is good in the good times and he is good in the bad times. Regardless of that, the bad times suck!
Earlier today I was enjoying some internet time at Panera. It was a glorious moment of alone time. And then my father-in-law called. Today he and my mother-in-law met with the oncologist. The news was not good. The new chemo is not working. It's not working. It's not working. Need I say more? For four years we have dreaded that news. Four precious, short years. And here today it came. To soon. I can barely think about it without crying. There are some long shot options with experimental treatments. We hope and pray that God has a miracle in mind here but we have to look at things realistically.
Right now we have to figure out how to move forward. We plan to take advantage of every minute that we have with Nancy. And hopefully the rest of it will come to us as we move along. Tonight Daniel and I sat down with Sarah and told her the news. Oh my. Together we made it through. The news that Grammy is mortal is tough to deal with at all ages.