Cost Benefit Analysis and Marriage

Intrigued yet?  I hope so.  I was in the bathroom getting ready for church when I discovered that my straightening spray was missing in action.  The previous day, Daniel had cleaned the bathroom.  And I knew. that something happened.  Intuition.  It's a woman thing.  Here is where we get to the heart of the story.  The lady at Great Clips cut all my layers mid curl.  Without the straight iron, well, my head turns into a big bush.  The straightening spray helps make the ironing easier.  And I was pressed for time with no spray in sight. 

I know you can figure out how the marriage part applies, but what about the Cost Benefit Analysis?  Let's start with a web definition - Cost benefit analysis is an analysis of the cost effectiveness of different alternatives in order to see whether the benefits outweigh the cost. In the case of marriage, what is the effectivness of an action taken.  Do the benefits of any said thing outweigh the future ramifications?

Let's take my straightening spray example.  I was running late.  My hair did not want to lay flat.  Even the 180 degree iron was having a hard time taming the bushiness that had sprung out of my head.  Did I mention I was late?  I searched all over the bathroom. There was no sign of the spray.  I came to the conclusion that Daniel tossed it.  I was fairly certain that I had one more use out of the bottle.  And if not, I planned on putting in an ounce of water to stretch it a little further.  But I digress.  Stressed, late, bushy headed me, well, I was getting a little perturbed.  Just a little....

Then I started thinking.  If I let this get to me, what will be the cost?

It's a given that I would have a harsh conversation with Daniel.  I would be ticked for the next few hours.  And more importantly, Daniel would probably never again clean the bathroom.  And that sealed it for me.  First and foremost, I don't like being mad. It makes me feel bad.  I don't like it.  But then, my complaining over a simple thing would take the blessing that Daniel bestowed and make it seem worthless.  And since I love him and I love what he did for me, weighed my options and decided to not worry about it.

What about ignoring the hurt without thinking of Daniel's motives?  I could have carried that aggravation without venting.  I could have let it seed some resentment.   And we all know how resentment grows and mutates into anger and loathing.  A simple little, nearly empty bottle of spray could have been the spark of a future argument.  Again, this would make Daniel's blessing to me seem worthless.  He may not connect my attitude to the spray, but holding in a hurt never contains it.  Eventually it comes out. 

Or, I could see his heart.  He did something nice for me.  I knew the bottle was close to empty. He had no idea I would be running late or that I was going to add some water in.  And as I'm doing my hair, I see this wonderfully clean sink and mirror in front of me.  And I'd love to see him clean the bathroom or any other room in the house in the future...

But the spray bottle incident is just one thing.  So often we get caught up in how things are not done to our expectations.  Sometimes it's warranted, but many times it's not.  If I had not weighed the costs of a harsh tongue, would I have focused on Daniel doing a loving act for me? Nope.  Would I have plotted out the future ramifications? Nope. Would I have done some damage to our relationship?  Most certainly yes.  How many blessings do we lose out on because we place more importance on stuff than people?  And how much more discord do we sow by failing to see the good in those around us?

In James 1:19-20, we are told to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to be come angry because our anger does not bring about righteousness.  So this week, I hope that you see through your initial reactions and listen to the heart of those around you.

And if you hubby decides to clean the bathroom, be blessed by it!

Back to the Basics

Daniel and I have been on an emotional roller coaster since Easter Break.  Things have been up and down and I think I've been suffering from spiritual fatigue.  God's been pushing me to hit the basics again. For me the basics is Philippians.  God used that book (along with some other folks) to teach me about joy and rejoicing in the hard times.  I've had a hard time rejoicing lately. 

Did I mention that I've been pushing back and dawdling when it comes to reading Philippians.  I do have a stubborn streak and I don't know why I let it get the best of me.  So today, all 3 kiddos went to sleep at the same time. I have not had 2 kids to sleep at one time in weeks.  It's been rough. I got ready to start doing the dishes and making some bread, when God stopped me and pointed me back to Philippians. I may be stubborn, but the big guy is thankfully very persistent.

My bible was literally under my nose and I grabbed it and sat down.  Let me tell you, it was balm for this weary heart.  And I want to share with you what he put in front of me from Philippians.  If you are fatigued, I hope that this will help you too. 

It's from Philippians chapter one. I'm only going to type what I underlined today. It's what stood out to me and touched me deeply.  You'll have to read your bible for specific verses.

Philippians 1

• I always pray with joy; being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus; 
• all...share in God's grace with me;  
• speak the word of God more courageously and fearlessly; the important thing is that... Christ is preached.
• I rejoice.  Yes, and I will continue to rejoice
• what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance
• have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For me to live is Christ and to die is gain.  
• stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel.
• believe on him, but also to suffer for him, since you are going through the same struggle I had, and you now hear that I still have.

Praying with joy, being confident, rejoicing, having courage, believing on Him... When I'm going through tough emotional times, these things become harder as the days wear on.  I become tired and melancholy.  But when I listen to God, when I let his words and time with Him renew my spirit, I am made whole.  And that's were I am right now.  My cup runneth over.  My spirit feels refreshed and ready to rejoice through the ups and downs.  I hope that you find time today to turn to Him and renew your spirit as well!

Ho-Hum, Blah, Ughh...

That was my week a little while back. Nothing was overly horrible, but then again nothing was grand either.  It was the same old stuff happening on a different day. I get up, feed the kids, do some cleaning, deal with attitudes, whining and crying, take a nap, feed the kids some more, etc.... During those days, I kept having this chorus stuck in my head. 

The enemy has been defeated
And death couldn't hold You down
We're gonna lift our voice in victory
We're gonna make Your praises loud

I sang that for 3 days before I finally realized that God was reminding me that the enemy has been defeated and I needed to snap out of the funk and live like it!  So the next time you are feeling like you are just existing, remember that the enemy has been defeated.  We are confident of that and we need to live like that.  Joyful that death had no hold on our Savior. Life is not meant to be blah.  And we are not meant to walk around like that.  Our side has won!  

I hope and pray that God places that song on my heart every time I get the blah feeling.  I want to live in victory.  I want to make praises to God.  It's a lot more fun than just existing!

Dealing with Frustration

We've seen the Duggar mom and June Cleaver. We've seen the super moms around us carting kids to and fro with a smile on their faces. (And their houses are always spotless!) We hear all the great and cool things that our friends do with their children. We see the smiles and happiness. And then we go home. Our children are screaming or throwing fits. The house is not clean. Dinner is not ready. Our feet are sore, our patience is thin. In our own strength, we work to manage the moment. And with any spare energy, we wistfully envy those other moms that seem to have it all together.

Is that you? Sometimes it's me. And lately, I've had quite a few conversations with ladies who feel the same way. Life just seems to be piling up and we feel as though we are a back seat driver. Our emotions no longer seem to be under our control. Our joy and happiness are compromised. And at times, our relationship with God feels non-existent. Where is a mom to go from here?

The Guilt and Envy Trap

As if on cue, we start feeling guilty. Then as that pours in, we start get jealous of the other moms. We try to dig deeper to keep up, but each attempt leaves us farther behind. Eventually, we feel as if the walls of our pit are crumbling around us. This leads to perpetual grumpiness, a huge sense of inadequacy, and low self esteem. But why? Why do we get caught on this ride over and over again? We have a better way.

The Better Way

So where do we go from here. How do we get off this roller coaster and stand on terra firma? The first thing that we as moms need to do is stop looking horizontally. That's right ladies. God did not make us the mom next door. He made us to be who He wanted us to be. We need to look up to our Almighty God find out who that is. He knows the number of hairs on our head. So how can this great God not know how to help us through the trying times of life?

First we need to confess our inadequacy to him. We need to confess our sins of guilt and envy and start looking towards an eternal solution. Opening up that line of honest communication with God is the most important step.

After that, pull out your bible. That's right. Time strapped as you are, nothing is more important than spending time reading the word. On top of that, God will use this time to provide you with encouragement and meaning for the days ahead. When I was going through a rough patch as a mom, God put it on my heart to read the book of Philippians. Why? Well, Paul is one amazing apostle. He had some very horrible things done to him. And even though the going was rough, he still praised God. He never let chains, beatings or imprisonments infringe upon the joy that God had placed in his heart.

In Philippians (NIV), Paul is reminding them to rejoice. He uses his own circumstances to relay a message of hope and joy in the Lord. Over and over again, uses the word "rejoice". Two verses the have spoken the most to me are Philippians 2:17-18 and Philippians 4:4-7. In both, Paul talks about his service to the Lord and reminds us to rejoice in it.

We are moms. Our service to the Lord is our family. During the bad days and good, we need to remember that God is with us and we must rejoice in Him first. When our children are out of control, when our husbands want more than we feel capable, when our house looks as though it should be condemned, we need to remember to first "Rejoice"! Then we need to step aside for a minute and confess that we are overwhelmed and ask God to guide us through. He is so faithful and will give us the strength.

Next, accept that you are who God made you to be. Instead of trying to fix everything, focus on one or two areas where you feel God is leading you to change. During this time, share those areas with your husband and a few close girlfriends. Have these folks pray for you in these specific areas. You may find that you have to cut out some other things that you have been doing. Pray for God's guidance in family life, work and even ministry to others. He may ask you to let some ministry areas go so that you may grow closer to him and to serving your family.

This process could take months to years. Just be patient! As you become grow in your relationship with God, these area will improve. As you successfully get one thing under control, ask God to show you the next. If you get frustrated, pray about it. If you are mad, pray. If you are having a bad day.

As all of this is going on, remember that God put fellow Christians in your path to help you through this. If you need help or just need to talk something out, utilize those around you. You are human! God tells us to fellowship with other Christians and he doesn't mean for you to do that only when you are in a good mood!

Finally, let me leave you with a few more verses from Philippians...

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received, or heard from me, or seen in me - put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have leaned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:8-13

P.S. You will not be able to change overnight! Don't get discouraged. God is faithful and will help you be the person he wants you to be!

Doing Your Husband Good

One of my favorite blogs is Girl Talk. It's run by a group of godly ladies and they really take Titus 2 to heart. This week, they are posting on Doing Your Husband Good. Not only do they provide biblical references to live by, but they have recently been posting notes from other wives that provide examples of how they love their husbands.

Personally I find this helpful. My best friend jokes with me that I have a "male" view on relationships. This stuff just does not come naturally until I force it a few times. After that, it sinks in. That may or may not be an issue with you. I just encourage all you married ladies to read some of the posts and pray about how you can show your husbands love every day.

Titus 2:3-5 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

All the King's Horses and All the King's Men...

...couldn't put Humpty together again.

Do you feel like that sometimes? I sure do. If you keep up with the site, you know that I was feeling pretty low for a few weeks. I'm not sure I was to the falling apart stage, but there were a few days where it came close. It's amazing how even during the low points, God was my strength.

I remember waking up some days singing "Our God Reigns" over and over in my head. I was so low feeling, but I could not shake that one undeniable truth. It helped to pull me through the day. And then I would feel called to speak the names of God out loud. This would mostly happen at night when I was trying to pray and couldn't. I would just say over and over, "Yahweh, Counselor, Comforter, Friend, Redeemer, The Alpha and Omega, The Beginning and The End."

So what's up with the Humpty reference? Sometimes we see someone who is broken. We try to help them or fix them and we can't. No matter what we do, nothing seems to help. And that's the truth. We can't fix anyone. But our King can. We need to look to God whenever we are broken and whenever we encounter the broken. God can and does work through us to encourage and love the broken but we need him to direct our paths. As for when we are feeling broken, we need to call out to our King no matter what the circumstance. If you can't pray, call out his name and the Holy Spirit will plead your case to the Maker.

Laying Hands

Since Daniel and I found East Pickens, we have felt that it was to be our church home in South Carolina. It somewhat reminded us of our church home in Virginia. The people, the church, the kids; it called to us. We were at home. That said, this new church, our new church was in transition. We were blessed to have Dr. Tony Beam as our interim pastor. He's a bigwig, head of something at North Greenville College and also hosts his own radio show. We loved hearing him preach each Sunday. His grasp of the word mixed with daily application and humor enriched us. However, he was not the head pastor and some things that you don't notice slip by the wayside. Tonight, I was blessed to be apart of one of those missing things.

Our good friend Jason (Alicia's husband), was ordained as a deacon tonight. As part of the service, our new pastor first called the other ordained men in our church to lay hands on Jason. Then, at the end he called for the church body to lay hands on Jason and Alicia. I can't even explain how much that touches me. Something about praying with others like that just brings tears to my eyes. It did tonight.

At our church home in Richmond, the laying of hands on brothers and sisters was common. It was rarely a planned thing. If our pastor heard of an illness that morning, we would gather around and pray for that person by laying our hands on him. There is so much power in that act of faith. I remember a gentleman who was having trouble battling cancer. They were not certain that he would go into remission. We laid our hands on him and prayed in earnest. Not long after that, his cancer was in remission. God is so good.

I told our pastor tonight that I was so touched to see that he did that for our friends. I hadn't seen the laying of hands on someone since we've been in SC (over 2 years now). It may have happened on a Sunday I missed, but I'm not sure. He was surprised and caught off guard. He then let me know that we would be taking the Lord's Supper next week. I hadn't realize that it had been a good long time since that had occurred at the church. I did get to partake when I visited a friend in VA recently.

I am blessed to be in a church that loves it's people enough to pray over them like that. As a church we are blessed to have a pastor that does this for our body. If you've never had a church pray over you like that or have been a part of that act, then this post may seem weird. But let me tell you, it's one of the most uplifting things you will experience.

Jason and Alicia, we'll be praying for both of you!

1st Peter 1

When I got to this book, I was amazed at what God showed to me. Many of the verses made me look at my own life in a critical way.

"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith-of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire-may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls."
1 Peter 1:6-9

This little section reminds me of Paul. I wanted to add an exclamation mark at the very end. Believing in God allows us to receive the goal of our faith. Because of our belief we are different. Deep inside each Christian is a fount of inexpressible and glorious joy that God has given us. If we live daily in his will, then that cup will never empty.

I don't know about you, but I find myself getting in the way of God's gift. I don't talk daily with Him or I ignore his word. Every time I do that, I block out some of the joy that he gives. Only when I repent and restore my relationship with Him, do I feel that joy come again.

Now that does not mean that I will always be happy. Emotions will still happen, but my peace and joy come only from God.

"Therefore, prepare your minds for action; to be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance."
1 Peter 13-14

When I first became a believer, the hardest thing that I had to do was turn away from my old life. For a while I was doing great, but then some of the same issues came back upon me with a vengeance. I managed to succeed in resisting some temptations, but to others I succumbed.

My problem was twofold. First, I was not prepared for action. I did not have support to fight against the temptations and I had a hard time trusting people with that portion of my life. Second, I had no self-control in certain areas. Thankfully, God used my mentor to patiently teach me about his word and commands for my life. She prayed for me and encouraged me to pray and study God's word. With the new teachings and prayer, I began to be convicted about my behaviour. God then gave me the strength to control my mind in regards to the temptations and eventually stand up to them.

The second portion of the verse tells me that I need to be like an obedient child. I see my kids and can tell you that that verse is self explanatory. Each day, I work to guide them down the right path. I educate them to know the right path. Once they have this knowledge, I expect them to avoid the doing the wrong things. This is true of our walk as a Christian. God has given us the knowledge. As we grow in him, he expects us to turn away from our ignorant ways and walk the narrow, right path.

"...for it is written, "Be holy, because I am holy." Since you call on a Father who judges each man's work impartially, live your lives as strangers here in reverent fear."
1 Peter 1:16-17

When I first read this, my initial thought was THIS SUCKS! I know, it's not very "christian like". But, this is reality. God wants me to be holy. Satan was right there whispering a list of all the areas that I fail in. On top of that, God calls us to live as strangers here. So be holy and see MY home as temporary.

Yes, my home here is temporary. But seeing it written so plainly made me realize that many days I see Earth as my permanent residence. I forget to live a holy life and make myself right at home. I'm so busy living for me that I fail to look up and see that this is just a poor imitation of my final destination. While I'm here, I'm expected to do everything I can for God's kingdom. Some days may suck and it can be a lot of work to be holy. But even on the hard days, we've been blessed with peace in Him.

In addition to that, Jesus experienced a brutal death to save me. Can't I spend my years living for Him?

"But the word of the Lord stands forever."
1 Peter 1:25

When I read that, it was so reassuring. I felt safe and loved. The Lord stands forever. After reading that, I feel like shouting "Can I get an Amen?"

Feel free to add your thoughts. I'm pulled to this book for the time being so I'm sure I'll post some more.

Through the Bible in a year

About a month ago, I decide to try and read through the bible. I've managed to read 1st and 2nd Peter, 1-3rd John, Jude and Revelation. I'm on to James next. Of all the books that I've read so far, 1 Peter had provided me with a ton of things to contemplate. I'll be sharing them periodically with you.

Undivided Attention

I've been blogging about some of the struggles that Daniel and I have had with Sarah. I want to point out that many of these problems come from the inconsistent boundaries that Daniel and I have given Sarah. We are working hard to rectify that and it's caused many discipline moments. As always, it got worse but is now getting better.

Today, I was in the house and Sarah was outside hollering like a banshee for me. This plucks my nerves to no end. The rule is to come get one of us unless it's an emergency. Sure enough, I walked out side and she wanted to show me some flip on the trampoline. I had to make a choice then. I could let my frustration turn into a lecture on proper etiquette or I could give that lesson in a loving way that would allow us to share a few special moments.

I honestly felt like giving the lecture. We've had the yelling conversation so many times that I have nightmares (just kidding). Instead, I walked over to the trampoline and told Sarah that next time she needed to come in and get me. Then I stopped for a moment and watched her new trick. After that, I had her clean up the mess she and her friends made. She did it with an unusually small amount of backtalk. While she was doing that, I climbed on the trampoline.

God has really impressed on me lately that I need to stop and enjoy time with Sarah, Ashton and even Daniel. This was Sarah's moment today. She came back out and we bounced around on the trampoline and joked and laughed. It was light and fun and easygoing. She had my undivided attention for 20+ minutes and I could tell that it made a huge impact on her. I hope I can find that more often.

As a wife and mother, I find that I get caught up in the laundry, the dishes and parenting. I focus so much on them that I start to miss out on those moments. So today, look at what you are doing. Can a load of laundry wait? Can the kids clean their room later? Is the house livable for one more day? If so, ignore some of those chores for a short time and spend some quality time with your loved ones. As a mom, your undivided attention is just as valuable, if not more so than all the other things you give to your family.

Delight in Your Children

Do you ever have a hard time with this? I do. Sometimes, I'm the whiny, self-pitying, groaning woman that Carolyn Mahaney describes. Other times, I'm on top of my game. The thing that keeps me going is that I want be a godly mom for my kids. I want to set a good example and to give them memories that will comfort them for a lifetime. I hope this article encourages you as much as it does me.

http://www.crosswalk.com/spirituallife/women/1325717/

Monday - Have a new Kid by Friday

Last night I took some time out to read the first chapter in the book. It reminded me that I really do know how this parenting thing works and now that Sarah is older, I've been giving her more leeway. He told a story in there about a small kid who wouldn't go with her mom because she was throwing a tantrum. Lemans advice was to walk away. I laughed, because I had quite a few of those moments with Sarah.

One time, we were at Short Pump mall and she didn't want to walk with me. I told her to have a good day then and started to walk away. Before I could get 3 steps away, she was at my side walking with me. I said what my intentions were and expected Sarah to follow me. Now that she grown more intelligent, I tend to reason and cajole. It doesn't work and teaches her to argue with me.

So, step one has already begun. I ask once and expect it to be completed. If she doesn't do it, she misses out on something she wants to do. Last night, she lost homework time. She had to get up early this morning and complete it before school. I don't expect to have a battle over that again tonight!

We are also working on respect. Sarah likes to talk back and roll her eyes and tell me how mean I am. That's not acceptable and will also cause her to lose privileges. This next week is going to be a challenge, so pray for me! I'll let you know how it goes.

Have a New Kid by Friday

I was flipping through the channels the other day and listened to Kevin Leman talk about his new book "Have a New Kid by Friday." It sounded like a great companion to Dr. Dobson's "Strong Willed Child" book. I haven't started reading it yet but from what I heard, it has some commonsense ways to help all of us parents with our strong willed kids. Personally, I don't think Sarah will change over by Friday, but I'd be happy to be proven wrong!

I'll let you know how it goes.

Grant Me My Desires Lord

On the way home, I was listening to Christian radio and they had some pastor on talking about the verse that says "Delight yourself in the Lord always and he will give you the desires of your heart." It struck me as funny that we always forget the beginning. At least I do.

So going forward, when I start to whine and moan to God about not doing what I want I'll have to explore my heart to see if I'm delighting in Him always. That self reflection thing gets me sometimes.

I also heard a Russian immigrant talking about freedom. I only caught the last few minutes of her chat, but one thing she said was so true. She said that when we ask God for something, we tend not to be patient in getting an answer. In paraphrase, she said that God almost never gives us what we want in our time and we need to suck it up. (The suck it up portion is my interpretation!)

Friday Morning Makeup Session

I think I've mentioned that I've had a hard time doing my devotions. To be honest, I think I was subconsciously avoiding them. Every day I would think to myself, "Deb, you need to do this now." And everyday I would walk by my bible and feel a bit guilty while heading off to another task. This morning I had a little enlightenment. I realized that I was angry with God. For the past two years, Daniel and I have been going through some crazy things. And all that time, I've been praying and moving forward. God has answered many prayers but has left other's unanswered. I don't know when I started feeling this general anger towards Him or even if I could outline one thing that I'm mad at Him about. It was just there, festering like an open wound.

This morning, I set down with my bible and a cup of green tea. I had a heart to heart with God and asked forgiveness for my actions. Not being in tune with God hurts not only me but God, my family and friends. While I had an active prayer life, that too was diminished by my stance against God. I sat down and read in my bible outside of church. It's been a while since I've done that alone. I found a verse for Sarah to memorized and I prayed. I prayed for my family and friends and for God to continue knocking down the wall that I put between us.

Today, I encourage you to look at your relationship with God. Are you intentionally avoiding Him? If so, it's time to explore why you're doing it and make amends. I can tell you from experience that He is quick to forgive.

Casting Crowns

Casting Crowns was at the Bilo Center in Greenville last night. Daniel and I had the great pleasure of going! It was such an awesome concert. I don't even know where to start. They played off of the new album and the old.

I think one of my favorite parts was when they played "The Voice of Truth" As Mark Hall was singing, an artist in the background started writing words on a black canvas. As the song goes on, he draws the outline of a man and a set of outstretched arms on either side. Then the artist pick up paint with his hands and seemingly destroys the image. I couldn't take my eyes away from the art.

The artist continues dipping his hands in paint and brushing them on the canvas. After a few minutes, there seems to be a purpose to this and then he goes on to another color. With each new addition, I'm either dismayed or impressed. It went back and forth the entire time until at the end there is this amazing picture of a broken and bloodied man holding up a book with two bloodied outstretched hands beside him.

Watching that art image go up and living through my human reactions demonstrated the problems that I've suffered with in my faith. Life throw something at me and I see the globs of paint rolling down the canvas and ruining my image of what it should be. I'm dismayed and distraught. Aggravation, disunity and lack of faith seep in. The God pulls out another color and with the stroke of his hands, the image changes and my vision clears. I see some of the picture he's making.

What really hit me is that I need to keep in mind the big picture, the finished product. God has a plan and if I continue to keep my eyes on Him, then all will be okay. My trouble starts when I just look as some of the layers on the canvas. I stop seeing Him and all that He's doing.

It hit me so hard that if Daniel and I had an extra $500 laying around, I would have purchased that canvas right then and there. My big hope right now is that I can hold on to those feelings and that insight. That my eyes see my Makers hands daily and not get caught up in the layers of life.

Don't get caught stuck in some little portion of the overall picture and refuse to continue being shaped into who God wants you to be.

Happy Easter

Are You Saved?

For believers that's an easy questions. Yes, I am saved. But the fact is, many people are not sure. I bring this up, because yesterday, I asked my mother if she was saved. Her response was "I think I am." She also went on to talk about not going to church even though she believed in God.

People, believing in God and going to church will not get you into heaven. Only accepting Jesus as the saviour will. I wish when I was talking with my mom that I had better presented this. If you do not know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are saved, then you are not saved. I know this sounds harsh, but uncertainty will lead you straight to hell.

Does going to church make you saved? Heck no. When the rapture comes, many church goers will be left behind. Why? Because God does not listen to our words, he sees deep into our hearts and knows our mind. He knows when we have turned our lives over to Him. When I lived in Virginia, my house was next door to the Beal's. They didn't go to church, but were saved by the blood of Christ. How do I know? Each day they lived out Christ's mandate. They served others, including me with a heart that reflected Jesus. I hope that one day other see in me what many saw in them.

What about believing in God? Will that get you the golden ticket? No. Even Satan believes in Christ. And, he's not going to heaven so what makes us think believing will get us in? Many "believers" go to Hell also. ONLY THOSE WHO HAVE BEEN SAVED WILL BE WITH THE SAVIOUR!

I can tell you right now that I am not the best christian in the world. God is still molding me and correcting me when I step outside of His good and perfect will. But I can tell you for sure that I am saved. I will see my Jesus when I pass from this life to the next. And while I am here on earth, I commit myself to growing in Him.

How does that happen? Well step one is to talk with God. He doesn't want a surface relationship with you. He knows that you are a sinner. He wants to know the ups and downs of your day. He wants to hear your hearts desires. He wants you to come to Him for everything - good or bad. At the end of this, I'll list the prayer that leads you to Him.

Second, read the Bible. God left us a life manual. He intends for us to use it. In it is living water. With those words, he breaths new life into all of us.

Third, put into practice all that God is showing you. As your relationship grows with with God, he will start to show you things in your life that are not pleasing to Him. A lot of times, this means stepping out in faith. One thing he is helping me with is trusting Him financially. Daniel and I live on a teachers salary. If you know how much a teacher gets paid, then you know how challenging it can be to run a budget for a family of four. On top of that, we've had some medical bills from the delivery and Ashton that were more than we expected. Plus, the kids and I are all needing visits with the cardiologist to check out our hearts. Our insurance does not cover all of that. Right now, we are working hard to pay all of that off as soon as possible. On top of that, God is pushing Daniel and I forward in the adoption front.

All of this is part of normal life. But, I get really nervous seeing it all on paper. I have a great amount of head knowledge that God will take care of all of that, but my heart still worries about it. On top of that, we've been letting some of that eat into our tithes. This month, Daniel and I decided to go ahead and pay our full tithe. And guess what, we are now going to get back enough money from taxes to pay off our car and have some left over to replenish our rainy day fund. There is also good chance that the hospital will reduce our medical bills. In fact, just a few minutes ago, Daniel received an offer to tutor a kid 3 days a week for $30 an hour. Within the next few months, that will allow us to pay off the rest of the medical bills and start the savings fund for a new car. I really believe that God has blessed us with these extras because of our desire to honor his call to give 10% of our income.

The bible has also showed me how to be a better wife, mother and friend. The money portion above is just the most recent example. But in reality, he shows me new things each day. Open your bible today and pray that He leads you to the areas that will help you serve Him better.

I encourage you to start your walk with Him today. That walk begins when you ask Him to become the Lord of your life. One simple, heartfelt prayer will do that today:

Father, I know that I have broken your laws and my sins have separated me from you. I am truly sorry, and now I want to turn away from my past sinful life toward you. Please forgive me, and help me avoid sinning again. I believe that your son, Jesus Christ died for my sins, was resurrected from the dead, is alive, and hears my prayer. I invite Jesus to become the Lord of my life, to rule and reign in my heart from this day forward. Please send your Holy Spirit to help me obey You, and to do Your will for the rest of my life. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

If you pray this prayer with honesty and sincerity then you are saved. Some feel differently right after the prayer and some don't. But as you walk around, you will begin to see that the Holy Spirit is convicting you of things you need to change and putting a desire to grow in your relationship with the Lord. Do not ignore this desired. Fully give yourself to this and start to learn all you can about the God who saves. You will not regret it.

Whatever...

Whatever... That's a term that my seven year old if quite fond of. So many of us today use it to disrespect or disregard other people. But God had a different purpose for this term. If you look at Philippians 4:8-9, God showed us how he wants us to view this word:

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable -- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy -- think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me -- put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Phil. 4:8-9

Each day, we are called to think about all the good and holy things in this world. But often Satan uses the events of everyday life to pull us away from all that is good. This is especially true of women. We focus on dishes our husbands left in the living room, the child who's behaviour is disrespectful, our expanding waistline... You name it and our minds can be drawn to it over and over again against our will. This happens to me more often than not.

As I was going over this verses, I realized that I was only fighting half the battle on this. When something is bothering me and I can't shake it, I first make sure I set it right. If that's not possible or doesn't apply, then I hand it over to God and pray for the person or situation. The part that I've been lacking is all the whatevers. When I finish handing this over to God, I need to refocus my mind on whatever is true, whatever is right, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable and whatever is excellent and praiseworthy. I need to grab a scripture and hold onto it. Maybe it's one of God's promises or some other wonderful thing he's recently done in my life or something he's been wanting me to do. It doesn't matter. I need to stop leaving my mind free to wonder back to the things that I've handed over to God and actively move onto serving my Lord in mind and/or body.

This week I encourage all of you to find that thing that God wants you to focus on. Not only does he want you to focus on it, he wants you to put it into practice. Just like idle hands, an idle mind can become the devils playground. Don't let Satan slow you down. Paul goes on to tell us at the end of verse 9 that by doing so, the God of peace will be with us.

Prayer:

God help me to hand over all my worries, fears and concerns. Remind me to leave them with you if I try to take them back. In addition, please help me focus on whatever I have learned or heard or seen in you and to put it into practice. My greatest desire is to serve you.

Amen

How You Live

I heard this song by Point of Grace on the radio last night while doing the dishes. It spoke to me. How do I live? Do I live each day for Christ? Am I unashamed in my witness for Him? Do I stand up and fight for Him? Am I willing to lose everything for Him? If not, am I really living?

The song goes on to say that we need to turn up the music and take a few chances. Following Christ is like that. It's always a chance. Will they still like me when I stand up for God's will? Should I say anything for fear of offending someone? Do I live with a reckless abandonment in His name? Can I live with being an outcast in His name? Will I take that chance?

Each day, we move forward wondering how we should live and who we should be. As Christians, we are not called to be doormats, we are called to be victorious in Christ. Our lives need to reflect His will not only in word, but in deed. God's word separates us from others. It forces a choice to be made. Jesus himself made that choice when told that his mothers and brothers wanted to see him. In Luke 8:21, he told the disciples that His mothers and brothers were those who heard God's word and put it into practice.

So today, I encourage you to blindly follow God's will for your life. Be open to his word and follow through on what he lays on your heart. You may be separated from your earthly family and friends. You may be ostracized and ridiculed. Your may be persecuted and lonely. But, when you stand before the throne, you will be able to look at our Saviour with the knowledge that you lived for Him. He will look at you, His child and say "Well done."

Ask yourself today, "How do you live?"

Choose This Day

What do you do while you are mopping the floors or washing the dishes? Do you sing to yourself or makes plans for later in the day? Well, I've recently decided that I need to use that time to chat with God. It's been eye opening for me and it's helped me get closer to Him.

Yesterday, I was mopping the floor and praying over some things that were burdening my heart. One of those things is my daughter Sarah. The night before, she had a bad attitude and Daniel and I had to punish her. She didn't want to be in time out and started talking back. Her mouth just wouldn't stop. Finally God turned on a light bulb for me. Sarah had to make a choice. Who was she going to serve?

I asked her point blank if she felt that her actions were serving God. She answered "No, but you...". We stopped her right there told her there were no buts. She had to make a choice. Would she honor her parents and God with her actions or would she honor Satan by continuing to talk back and be disrespectful. It took a few times of asking her the question before she acknowledged that no amounts of ifs, ands and buts would change the fact that her behaviour was not honoring God or us.

So, while I was mopping, I felt God pushing me to go read in the bible. I didn't know where until he showed me Joshua. I thought he wanted me to to straight to Joshua 24:15 - Choose this day whom you will serve... But, he had another plan. I started reading Chapter One and then two and finally stopped at chapter six. There is so many things in Joshua that we can learn from. Below are the points that God gave me to think on...

• Joshua 1:5 - No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you: I will never leave you or forsake you. ------Daniel and I have had a tough start to our marriage. For those of you who know us, you know we've had a lifetime of major events rolled up into the last two years. But one thing never changed through all of that - God was at our side and never left us. He's been there to comfort us and to make us stronger. He's sharpened us as only he can do. Without him, Daniel and I could not have made it.
• Joshua 1:9 - Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. -------This hit home with me. It was terrifying for me to stand up to my family, knowing that once again I would be unofficially disowned for good. Not only that, but I had to call my Dad on some of his behaviour and it was hard. For the last 4 years or so, he's put on a victim mentality regarding the relationship he has with my mom, grandmother and siblings. I had to face the fact that all of his words were just that - words. Standing up to him and truly seeing him for who he is was not only hard, but disheartening. But God called me forth to do so and I can only trust him. I have to admit, I don't feel that I was courageous or strong. But I do know that God honored my obedience and he was with me every step of the way.
• Joshua 2:11 - When we heard of it, our hearts melted and every one's courage failed because of you, for the Lord your God is God in heaven above and on the earth below. ------Now isn't that reassuring. This refers to the miracles that God did when leading Joshua and his people to take down Jericho. Rahab told the spies how God's work melted their hearts and destroyed the enemies courage. That's my God. He is the God of heaven and earth and each day I want to remember that.
• Joshua 6:25 - But Joshua spared Rahab the prostitute, with her family and all who belonged to her because she had hid the men Joshua had sent as spies to Jericho - and she lives among the Israelites to this day. ------ God keeps his promises to us. Because of Rahab's faith , she saved her entire family.